A few days ago I made three posts
Because for a few weeks now I’ve been preparing to hopefully start the conversion process. You all were really helpful and I’ll be eternally grateful to each one of you who answered me.
Today I went to talk to the rabbi of my local Chabad community fully knowing there is this custom of dissuading the possible convert away from judaism. I also knew Chabad doesn’t do conversions, but I was hopeful he could point me to a way I could reach my goal. He told me there are other ways of honoring G-d (the 7 noah commandaments) and stuff but I told him no, I wanted to live like the jewish people to honor G-d and deepen my relationship with Him. Then he told me to go away because there is no way to convert in my country, Brazil, because there isn’t an recognized beit din in here. Then I returned later and asked if I could at least study in the community because I’ll be a doctor in a few years and can gather the means to go where the rabenut is and he also denied me that. He told me to study on the internet (I tried that before, tldr it sucks and you learn next to nothing) He was also very rude to me.
This broke my heart into a billion pieces. I wasn’t born from a jewish mother, but I feel my soul is jewish. I feel for the jewish people as it is my people and I can’t explain that.
That doesn’t mean I’ll give up. It might take me years, but I’ll eventually do what I think G-d wants me to do. I know in becoming a jew woman I’ll face anti-semitism and a lot of prejudice, but I’m ready for all of this. I was even planning to learn hebrew once I’m done with the one I’m working on now.
I just wanted to say it out loud. My heart is really broken. I am also sorry if this post offends anyone.