Very Confused on What to Do and Who I Am

Alright ya’ll, strap in,

So basically, I have been living a Jewish life for as far as I can remember. That’s 22 years. I had my snip snip ceremony at 8 days old at my house, with a Hassidic Rabbi and was given a Hebrew name. I went to Hebrew School at an Orthodox Shul, until they closed down, so I went to Hebrew School that was conservative until my Bar Mitzvah. After my Bar Mitzvah, I was completely away and detached from Judaism for about 3 years. When I was about 16, I was approached by a Chabad Rabbi to put on Teffilin. I had never put on Teffilin before, or even heard about it. I found the experience the be the most peacefulness I’ve ever experienced on the planet. I felt truly connected to G-d. As time went on, I kept learning and adding more observance to my life. I stopped eating non-kosher animals, starting to observe Shabbat by lighting candles and having dinner, etc. Eventually, I got to the point, where I wanted to start putting on Teffilin everyday. This was after I went through a really hard breakup a little over a year ago. When I went to get my Teffilin, the Rabbi questioned my Jewishness. The Rabbi who had initially introduced me to the practice had told him that he was unsure if my mom was Jewish. My mom was not born Jewish, but she did become Jewish (can’t say the word because it gets flagged) under an Orthodox Rabbi, well before I was born. I explained this to the Rabbi and my dad called him and really chewed him out a new one. He never followed up and that was that. A couple months go by and I want to start going to Shul. The Shul has a new Yeshiva and the Rabbi from the Yeshiva approached me and asked me to start learning with him. I wanted to learn with them, since I never got that experience. One day he asks me, what is your background and I go through the same loop. I decide that Shul was probably not for me, as it was a little outdated and just overall old with very little young people. The Rabbi there knew of my situation and I asked him if he could help, with which nothing was really followed up with. I was just made to feel unwelcome and eventually decided to try other Shuls. Now, at the Shul I’ve been davening at, I overheard the Rabbi speaking with someone else. He said that he talked with the Rabbi from the other Shul about me and dadadada. I also know that the Rabbi also told this to my friends dad (that I am becoming or that I am not Jewish) because he started to ask me questions after he visited that Shul and it started to spread so fast that all of my friends were thinking I was not Jewish or that I was becoming Jewish. I have been given different opinions by multiple different Rabbis. Everyone says something different and there hasn’t been one structural source to actually provide me with help. Needless to say, this has been very frustrating, but I don’t ever give up. I believe in Judaism, Hashem, Mitzvot, and Torah. I was raised Jewish and it’s my bloodline for crying out loud. Trust me, I have researched Halakha; extensively. The main issue is how the leadership has handled this situation and it is honestly horrifying. To be in a world were non-Jews want us dead, you would think that the older generations would understand how important it is to be empathetical, compassionate, and accepting. That’s really all.

Am Yisrael Chai!