Seeking inspiration

Hi all,

I (M26) am not as studied as some people here, but I have recently found myself grappling with my faith.

My mother converted conservative before I was born and then we all converted to orthodox before my bar mitzvah. I was raised going to Chabad and have always enjoyed the community and have had a very good relationship with Judaism. I went to public school, dated non Jewish girls, lived a pretty normal life, but was a relatively observant Jew, doing my best not working on Shabbat and observing all the holidays.

Over the last few years, I have gotten more observant and integrated into a Chabad community I really enjoy. I have been struggling with my faith and I think that some of the Chabad interpretation of things doesn’t sit well with me. I have lots of questions, like how can you justify some of the stories with historical facts that we know? Like how can you interpret the story of Noah?

I also struggle with the fact that in the Torah, to not add or subtract any laws, and it feels like we have added quite a few.

I have theory’s (including that if we’re in a simulation history isn’t real lol) but I am grappling with all these ideas and would appreciate someone to talk to. I know most people here probably have negative takes on all this, but I would really love to find someone who maybe found a happy medium of being a religious Jew, and finding their own interpretations of things.

Shana tova to everyone!