Livid About The Upcoming School Year at My Temple

Hi all,

I am livid. I talked about this in therapy today, but I think you should hear this too.

Let me provide some context:

Starting last year, I began working as a teacher’s assistant at my temple’s school. This is going to be my second and final year there (i’m a senior in high school).

I’m reconstructionist, I go to and work at a reconstructionist temple. I can’t emphasize how small my temple is. I’d say maybe 50ish families, and not all of those are very active. In the last year, we had a sizeable uptick in families, specifically ones with small kids. Since maybe the year I had my bar mitzvah, the school had been almost empty. Even though it’s small by most standards, it is significantly bigger now, it makes me very happy to see that. Continuing on with the temple: it’s in a middle of nowhere neighborhood. Most other temples in the area don’t even know it exists. If they do, its only a few members.

Here’s what’s changed in the temple:

Only one door can be entered from the outside, and someone had to let you in. The kids aren’t able to play outside during a break.

Every year, on opening day, we have a meal outside. This year it can’t be outside. It can’t be outside. It’s such a big day and it has to be INSIDE.

At this rate I don’t even know what’s going to happen with Sukkot.

Last year, after the Pittsburgh shooting, we had to teach kids how to deal with an intruder. When this was being done, I was helping a teacher explain this to 6 year olds. 6 year olds. They should not have to be in a place where they need to know this that young. My temple shouldn’t be that place if there had to be one. No temple should be. This country shouldn’t be the place either, yet it is. It is so upsetting to stand there explaining this.

Almost everyday i was working after that (and some days where I wasn’t), I would think about whether I would be able to keep the kids safe. How far would I be able to go? Would I be able to put their lives entirely in front of mine?

Sometimes I think I would be able to. I’ve gone through a lot. I have little self esteem. I’ve already performed the ultimate mitzvah. I’m an adult. They haven’t experienced Judaism that much. I have. I would rather have them live to have the experience.

It is baffling that this is ok to people

It needs to end

Actions of hate need to not be considered free speech any more

Sorry if this was a bit erratic, i’m really angry