I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this but I need advice. My family was never particularly religious but our community and extended family were orthodox. We went to shul every week, etc etc.
In the last 4-5 years I distanced myself from that community and more recently in the past year I’ve begun the process of transitioning from male to female.
My grandmother passed away today and I don’t know how to approach the funeral and Shiva. The idea of wearing a kippa and talit (and moreover wearing masculine clothes and no makeup) makes me feel very uncomfortable. However, I am made just as uncomfortable with presenting myself as I am to the community and, more importantly, I do not want this to be about me.
What do I do? The funeral isn’t till Monday so I have a little time to figure this out but in the meantime I’m a bit lost and more than a little scared. Any advice is appreciated.