At least for now.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been wrestling with the idea of putting my conversion on hold until I feel my personal level of observance is adequate. I don’t eat pork or shellfish, but I otherwise don’t eat kosher, I don’t pray often, and I barely rest on Shabbat. I feel as if I should live life at least somewhat consistent with what Conservative Judaism teaches before I make it official.
I spoke to my rabbi about it before Shabbat and they said that conversion is a personal process. There is no set time before someone feels they’re ready. In my case, it could take only a few months, a year, or even 10. As long as I’m on this journey, I’ll be welcome in the community and am a full part of it.
Until that day comes (whenever that may be) I suppose I’m a Ben Noach by default. I’ve ordered a payer book for Noahides and will continue building up my observance and involvement in my community.