I don’t do Yom Kippur. (-_-)

Well. Of course I fast during yom kippur I don’t eat nor drink. But I don’t go to synagogue to pray.

How can I beg for pardon before God if I can’t beg for pardon to people I offended. It’s important to apologize for our bad deeds to people before yom kippur, but sometimes I just can’t do it, because begging for pardon is HARD. And bring myself before all the sh*t I did in a year is just pain. I truly hate repentance I hate yom kippur I want this day to stop existing. I don’t pray this day because I am ashamed of how unperfect and disgusting I’ve been being in a year.

This makes me feel like a super bad jewish. Please I need advice.