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I am afraid of talking to rabbi and not being accepted by community

First I want to tell you why I want to convert.

I am currently 17 years old, and I am born as Orthodox Christian, but I was never a believer. At the age of 12 my mother bought me a book “The Scent of Rain in the Balkans” (recommend it). It’s a story of Jewish family from Sarajevo,and it’s about their lives from 1918 to the end of World War II. Also my mother and grandmother introduced me to Jews before that, my mother always loved Jews and she passed that to me. Since then I was reading about Jews and Judaism,and even before that felt sympathy for them. But never thought about believing in Judaism or converting.

Some time ago I started reading about Jewish theology, started reading the Old Testament, started learning about Torah, about Jewish holidays. I even started learning Hebrew. And I have to say I felt something in my heart ,after reading OT and Jewish theology I can say I started believing in G-d, I never had that feeling while being Christian.

Also my way thinking changed and Judaism left a mark on me.

So I started thinking about conversion when I become and adult. But I am “scared” of multiple things: how will my family accept me, my friends, circumcising. Also Jewish community where I am from is really small,so I am afraid of being accepted. Also I am very socially awkward and shy person so I hope people with same social issue can understand (imagine yourself going to chruch and wanting to convert). That’s the biggest problem, that I am an extreme introvert.

By Judaism I fell in relationship with G-d that I never had before! Hope some of you can help me defeat my anxious thoughts.

Much love!

submitted by /u/Shaco653
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