Feeling Out of Place in the Community

Hey there. I hope everyone is doing fine.

I just needed to get this off my chest. Lately, I’ve been feeling more outside of the community than ever before, and it’s honestly been really tough to deal with. I’m half Jewish, but I don’t really fit the typical “look” that you might expect from being visibly Jewish. Sometimes I compare myself to others in the community, and it just makes me feel more disconnected.

I feel like I’ve been trying really hard to be seen as Jewish by the community because of my appearance, but I get the sense that people don’t take me seriously. It might just be my insecurities, but I’ve noticed every day that when other coworkers who are visibly more Jewish serve the same tables I do, they’re treated so differently. It’s frustrating and honestly makes me feel even more like an outsider.

Recently, I started working in a kosher restaurant, which has definitely brought me closer to my culture and traditions. I’ve also been visiting the synagogue more often, trying to immerse myself in the community and learn more about my roots. But instead of feeling more connected, I’ve been feeling laughed at, misunderstood, and really frustrated.

I don’t know how to feel about this or what to do next… It’s like I’m caught between two worlds of not fully accepted by the community, and unsure of my place in it all. Just needed to share that and see if anyone else has felt something similar or has any advice (Specially if you’re mixed).

Ps. I have to also mention that im seeing this behavior or treatment mostly coming from American Jews specially from NYC or big cities.