I’m going to attempt to be extremely careful in how I ask this question but I’m seeking feedback from Jews who have experience with Jewish communities in New York City.
I’ve dated different women from different places.
Some from Florida
Some from Texas
The vast majority have been wonderful women who taught me a lot about what I want and don’t want in a future wife. All valuable and helpful in their own right.
Through those experiences I can’t help but shake something that I noticed after I started dating women outside of my hometown.
I’m born and raised in NYC. The only Jewish women I dated originally were from my city until I started branching out. I went to other states for work and I went to Israel to study and I met and dated wonderful women during those times.
This is where my question gets complicated.
Is there something up with Jewish women from NYC or am I just in a weird bubble?
That might sound really harsh and rude and I’m genuinely not trying to come off that way. There’s just not really any other way I can ask this question. In my experience, I’ve noticed an issue when it comes to the women in this city that I haven’t experienced elsewhere.
There’s a sense of entitlement.
There’s a sense they’re always looking for an upgrade.
There’s a sense that you’re going in for a job interview rather than getting to know a person.
I originally thought it was just me and that I was either attracting the wrong kind of women or being biased in how I was remembering things.
I then brought up this topic at an Chavrusa study group. (not during the study) The guys were all hanging out together after the fact and some of them were discussing dating.
The guys who hadn’t been strictly shidduch matched actually agreed with my point when I brought up my experiences. Almost every guy in my circle brought up the fact that it seems like women from NYC specifically had a reputation about them in being overly picky and overly judgy and overly critical.
Contrast this to Jewish women from communities in other states and countries and the experience is way less critical. They obviously are gauging you but the exchange feels much more genuine and less like a job interview (if that makes sense)
I was curious if anyone would be able to share their personal opinions on the topic and whether they agree/disagree or can corroborate the point I’m making.