Christianity, Judaism and the Messiah

Hello r/Judaism

First off I like to say I was raised Christian and my family has had roots in Catholicism before recently (Last 30years) changed to Christianity. I was never a “hardcore” Christian since ….ever. I attended Christian academies and could really care less about the very vague and watered down teachings on just the “New Testament” and over emphasized Jesus. I am not really asking a solid question here rather I am asking one of many other questions that constantly cross my mind, the biggest one is the Messianic Age.

To a Christian, this would sound like heresy but I was always the one waiting my turn to really ask some ROCK SOLID questions even if they seem scattered.

To sum this up, over the past year I been looking into the origins of everything. Who we are, what we are and where we are going. Something interested me about Hebrew and i began to look into origins of words, meanings and so on. Alot pertaining to picking out words of the Bible i was raised with (Mostly Old Testament, the part of the bible that Christians really just skim passed and only use to reinforce the new testament with). A world of knowledge opened up to me as I dug deeper and I started to realize what the writings are actually hinting to. I don’t claim to be a guru at all so I wont say for sure that how I was interpreting things are 100% correct. But coming from Christian background I started to look behind the curtain I started to see how things are in Christianity, blurred, restrictive and completely against deep questioning. I started to talk to my family about it and asked questions like

“How do you know Jesus was the Messiah?” and things like

“If Christians are waiting for the Anti-Christ and the Jews are waiting for the messiah and the Messianic Age, wouldn’t it follow that Christians will be against the Messianic Age thinking the messiah is the anti Christ?”

And since no one ever really questions this I get the same answers “Well… Jesus is coming back to save (Only) the Christians, Meet in the air blah blah, rapture this and so on, like a dog and pony show. “And since you have been saved, you are going to be in heaven and the Jews need to accept Jesus as the messiah in order to join us.” And the 144,000 blah blah.” This wont happen till they are saved and so on we go with no real definition, just a bunch of random flimsy facts that seem to contradict themselves at points while coming across quite “Planned” or should i say Pre-Planned.

Since i was raised being told the anti Christ will come and be this wonderful figure and seem to be a good person, but isn’t. I started to wonder even more how messed up things can be and could get.

I really cant understand Christianity anymore since digging deeper into the origins of the Book the Jews wrote. To add to this, not only does the Book hold really interesting stories but I found out that Jews have even more books, like the Talmud, and while I don’t even know the first thing about any of that because I was raised to proclaim everything wicked and Anti God except Christianity, I fight this feeling of curiosity because Christianity taught me nothing but some stories here and there and Jesus is the only way, yet never dived into anything else deeper. Its Just as long as you accept Jesus as your saviour, your good. Then that leads to Idolatry?

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Sorry this post is kind of out of wack and all over the place. I would just like opinions and maybe some good answers to a few or one of the questions. Maybe some enlightening things will be said and maybe I am wrong for thinking some of this. Don’t hold back.

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Thanks