I have a situation regarding my household, that I’d like this subs take on…
I’m the step-mom of two kids, one of whom is 14M. His mother is Christian, and since he started becoming more curious about Judaism, has been amping up religion in her household. I wouldn’t say that I keep a fully kosher household, but it is a religious one (on my part, at least). We do shabbos dinner, have holiday parties, etc, all of which my step-son was all for. Recently, it came to my attention that he had told his grandmother (his mom’s mother) about my being Jewish and how he’d gone with me to services one night, and really liked it. She responded by telling him that Jews go to hell. His mother has responded to his interest by telling me that I can no longer talk with him about religion, because I’m not his parent, and it isn’t appropriate. She also (most troubling of all, in my opinion) has been sending him to a youth group at the local church. That wouldn’t be a problem, except that the kids there told him that Jews are too focused on the Holocaust, and that we have exaggerated and misunderstood what it was “really” about, making it all about us.
His father and I have been talking to him about all of this, and it’s like night and day sometimes. On the one hand, he says that I’m just trying to “prove a point”, and on the other, he’s asking if he can go to services with me this Friday night. I spoke with my Rabbi, and he said to just bring him along, and they can have a casual talk about things at oneg. I’m still concerned about this for a number of reasons.
1) His mother no longer wants me to involve him in Judaism, even though my SO says that it’s perfectly fine
2) He seems to report all of our comings and goings with his mother and grandmother, both of whom now say derogatory things about me and all Jews
3) He’s been hanging out, apparently, with these youth group kids who are saying some Holocaust denial stuff, and he’s been trying to “correct my version” of history
Does anyone have an opinion on this that may help, or has anyone dealt with anything similar? My SO is being great with all of this, and has been backing me up 100%, but this whole situation just seems to be getting worse and worse.