Hey. I am a 27 year old Baal Teshuva. I grew up in an orthodox household, then strayed off the path throughout high school, college, and a few years after that. Just recently, I had a revelation that I want to go back to my roots and re-learn Torah and dive into deeper topics including Talmud study, the Midrash, and Rambam. I think part of my reasoning internally is because I feel ready emotionally and career wise to find a wife and marry, and feel like the piece I am missing is true spiritual connection with Hashem and myself.
Anyway, the question is that since I have a backlog of experiences with women, I find myself thinking about these a lot and fantasizing, while currently (the past few months and going forward till marriage) in a state of abstaining from any intimate interactions with women, as well as masturbation, since those are both sins and I am doing my best to live by the 613 commandments.
Can anyone relate or have any advice on this?
submitted by /u/Jumpy-Habit5251
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