Attached to certain liturgy

I attend a tiny reform affiliated shul in the upper Midwest in the middle of nowhere. I am pretty progressive and the epitome of “live and let live” with how people, even in my own community, choose to daven. But I never realised how much certain liturgy means to me as part of my own spiritual journey until erev Rosh hashana services tonight. We have a student rabbi who is absolutely lovely and I get along with and vibe with the way they lead our services. They’ll be the one leading my son’s bar mitzvah in January and I’m totally ok with how they’ll prepare my kid and teach him the things he needs to know. But tonight during services we got to the part where we recite Avinu Malkeinu and I was so ready. I love this prayer? part of the liturgy? whatever it is. It’s deeply meaningful to me and when we get to the end and sing the last part I always cry. Tonight the student rabbi chose an alternative reading of Avinu Malkeinu that was more in line with how they see/experience Hashem. We use the Gates of Repentance mahzor and if you’re familiar with it it’s the alternative reading on page 549 – shekhina mekor chayenu. It was…jarring. I was completely thrown out of my vibe and not uncomfortable necessarily but it didn’t feel the same. I guess I just never realised how much certain prayers and liturgical elements mean to me until they’re gone. I hope morning services aren’t similarly jarring and different from what I’m used to. RH an and YK are my favorite holidays and I never feel more connected to Hashem than when I’m praying on those days.