Seriously. I’ve been to two Ashkenazi seders for the hagim and I worry about your health and the sustainability of this. All the kitniyot replacements looked terrible and unhealthy.
It’s also a little disturbing that Ashkenazim go through such extremes to kasher their kitchen for Pesah and then don’t have anything to eat anyways. And most Ashkenazim I know have started just traveling for Pesah because they can’t handle the stress of all the cleaning and the depression of not being able to cook well enough to eat anything satisfying.