i was reading another thread and it brought up a question I’ve been struggling with.
For some background. I grew up in Reform household for most of my life. We switched to a reform synagogue from a conservative one when I was in third grade. My parents didn’t like the Rabbi. I grew up with a sense of being Jewish. We were inconsistent on Friday night rituals but for much of my youth went to services on Friday night. I was in Hebrew school through 12th grade and was heavily involved in a youth group in high school. Judaism was always part of my life on some way shape or form. Comparatively to my friends with similar reform/conservative backgrounds, I alway retained the prayers. Even in my most lax years, I could show up to any service and was able to recite and know all the prayers. Long story short I have had some connection with Judaism.
After college I lived in NYC and joined a shul. I was taking classes and mentioned this lack of feeling to the class. Everyone in the class was trying to be encouraging and said I would get there. The Rabbi turned to me and said “or maybe you won’t”. I have to tell you, that honesty was refreshing. I was always told I would find it. That honestly really made me feel better.
Since my daughter has been born I have been active in going to temple for Torah studies, independent studying on the history of Jews as I realized my knowledge of Judaism is severely lacking. We do the candles/wine/challah on Friday nights. I do get something out of this.
However, I’ve never had a personal connection with G-d. Possibly as a result I’ve never looked at G-d as a personal god. I’ve always looked at the relationship from a group point of view, and that G-d only speaks with a few individuals as is done in the Torah. Ive always associated a personal god with Christianity. As a result, I don’t think of G-d as the reasons for the good or bad things in my life, in this sense that G-d doesn’t take anactive role in mine individual life.
Very long story short, do most people in this subgroup have a personal connection or feel a personal connection with G-d?