Unsure of some things.

I don’t really have people to talk to IRL about this, so I thought I’d ask here. It may be very silly, but I have. No Jewish friends. I know absolutely no one but my dad and my cousins who are also Jewish. I was raised with a Jewish dad, and a Methodist Christian mum. I love them both dearly. I celebrated holidays from both religions as a kid. As I’ve gotten older (I am 15.) I’ve had a lot of time to. Think, I suppose. I never got to go to temple. (Someone at our local one is very Bad. Personal shit I’m not comfortable talking about, nor is it my place to discuss.) I never got to go to Hebrew school. I got the holidays. We did shabbat until I was 12. I don’t know why we stopped. I don’t go to church. My mom doesn’t make me, thankfully. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much. Am i even a real jew, since my mom isn’t one? I remember watching my cousins read the ma nishtanah in Hebrew until it was my turn. and i couldn’t read it like them. Where do I even start? Apolgoies for all of this hah. I didn’t know it was resting so heavily on me until I started to write. It all sort of just. Spilled out. If this isn’t the right place for it apologies yet again.