Questions & Seeking Guidance

Hello, and thank you for taking the time to read. Non-Jew drawn to learn more & seeking guidance. TL;DR at the bottom.

I grew up in a non-practicing Catholic home and identified as an atheist from my teens until about three years ago, when I became a Christian during a very difficult time. Lately I’ve been feeling spiritually adrift. Not doubting God’s existence or goodness, but I find myself unable to settle into any church, doctrine, or denomination that I feel equips me to navigate deeper waters.

Much of modern Christianity feels shallow to me and I yearn for something that feels more like home.

2 years ago I read the book “Imagine Heaven,” which opened my eyes to the possibility of Heaven as a real, vivid place. I also became interested in near-death experiences. Since then I’ve read many NDE accounts, and I’ll admit they’ve both comforted and unsettled me. Again and again, people describe a divine encounter: an infinite Being of light and love, radiating perfect peace and understanding; a reality where everyone is known completely and loved beyond measure; a vast, joyful, pristine place with garden-like qualities.

It leaves me wondering: where is the religion that reflects that God?

After a brief interaction with a non-practicing Jewish woman the other day something stirred in me. I got curious, Googled a few questions, and began reading Chabad. Everything I’ve read so far- the emphasis on holiness in daily life, on divine light permeating creation, on study as a form of worship, the concepts of heaven and “hell” – it really resonated with me.

This feels like what I’ve been seeking. I feel drawn to learn more and to understand how Judaism views God, the soul, and what it means to live rightly before Him.

A few questions:

• Are there Jewish writings that describe God’s love?
• What does it mean to walk with God or partner with Him?
• How do you view moral growth, repentance, or spiritual transformation?
• How do you view God’s relationship with all people?
• What does it mean that everything is part of God’s oneness?

TL;DR Former atheist turned Christian, now feeling spiritually adrift and drawn toward Judaism’s depth and view of God. Seeking to understand how Judaism sees God, the soul, and what it means for a non-Jew to live rightly before Him.