Personal Journey / Jewish Revival

Shalom everyone!

I will try to summarize my experience succinctly and hopefully provide good insight! I hope none of those comes across as naïve or anything, I just thought this would be the right place to be heard.

So I am new to exploring Judaism, though I was raised Christian as a child. For years I had always felt a spark/connection to the people and I wasn’t sure why. After October 7th, I started going to some local Reform synagogues and learning what I could and connecting with people, as there was something in me that felt compelled to do so, though I’m not sure really what it was or why I felt so strongly.

Recently, I got access to my family tree that was done by a genealogist (not by Ancestry or a digital genealogical app/website) and after doing research on my ancestors, I found several candidates who were highly likely crypto-Jews. This discovery felt reassuring and affirming in a way, but also I was left with some confusion as well, as I didn’t know how to move forward with this information. I wanted to reconnect with this part of my family/heritage that was almost lost, but I wasn’t sure how.

I guess my major questions are these:

1. ⁠How can I reconnect with my Jewish heritage in a way that’s meaningful? Should I learn Hebrew? Ladino? Yiddish? What things can I do in day-to-day life that will make me feel more Jewish/make me feel better connected to my heritage?
2. ⁠When trying to reclaim Jewish identity, what matters more, cultural or religious revival? Should I focus more on culturally reviving aspects my family followed or trying to connect with Hashem?
3. ⁠What makes someone “Jewish enough” to call themselves Jewish? I have this fear that I am somehow making a fool of myself by trying to revive this part of my family, but I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t at least try. At what point can someone call themselves Jewish? Or is that all completely subjective?
4. ⁠I’ve heard that atheist Jews exist, I was curious what this entailed exactly. Are they culturally Jewish and religiously atheist? Or are they culturally not Jewish as well?

Thank you in advance for any insight you all may provide! 🤍✡️