My sister and I both have cancer, which is causing me to really struggle with my faith, so I would truly appreciate any advice

My family are all Jewish, Orthodox. We always have been for generations and generations and it’s a very important part of our lives, and our whole identity I guess. It was kind of difficult growing up where everyone else wasn’t like that, and like me, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to accept that.

My family has a syndrome from a mutated gene that means we have a very high chance of developing many different types of cancers. My mother has it, and I, along with two of my sisters, also inherited it.

My sister and I have always been very close, she’s only eleven months older. She was diagnosed with leukemia last month, and is getting chemotherapy. And she doesn’t have a very good prognosis. The syndrome we have also doesn’t respond very well to chemotherapy and it’s the only way they can treat it.

Now I have found out now I also have cancer. Ovarian cancer, in a very early stage, hopefully. But despite that, I’m still going to have to get surgery, which at the very least will impact my fertility, and at the worst, make me infertile. And at this point, I do feel like I’m beginning to lose my faith.

And I know there’s all those sayings about how testing times makes your faith stronger or whatever, and that there’s always a reason, but I’m struggling to care anymore. I have so many friends that aren’t even really religious at all, and they are healthy, their family is healthy, they’re happy, they may not ever have to worry about what I am, and definitely not right now.

I’m not going to say that I feel I don’t deserve to become unwell or for this to happen to me. But it isn’t fair for my sister, who was always far more dedicated than me and followed everything and listened to all that she could, and now she might die from a stupid cancer from a stupid gene that shouldn’t even exist.

People say they’ll pray for my sister and my family, but it feels like it means nothing to me because the same G-d who they pray to has caused her to be like this, and while I had never felt like that before, for some reason I do now. Before, when bad things would happen to me, I would think that it is how it is and it will eventually work out because this is how it should be but I don’t feel that way anymore.

I can’t see why G-d would let my sister be so unwell or die. I can’t see why G-d would want me to be unable to have children, basically ruining my life and making it so I might not be able to ever be married or have a family. I don’t want to feel like this, but I do and I’m having trouble getting over it.

I know this is a lot, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. English also isn’t my first language so I’m sorry if anything is confusing.