Lost Tefillin

I am so devastated and would like to both share my story and maybe even find them again with Hashem’s help.

I was raised reformed and have been doing an intensive study in New York this summer. While here, I began to really dive into Judaism and reconnect with the religion in which I was raised like I never have before. Before coming to New York, I had only put on tefillin once. I was stopped by the mitzvah tank and began attending Chabad on Shabbas. For the last month and a half I’ve been wrapping tefillin and wearing a kippah every day.

As a parting gift, the chabad I’ve been attending donated me a pair of tefillin. It was the most meaningful gift I’ve ever received. It had my Hebrew name (Moshe) embroidered on it along with my English last name (Fraser) and was an absolutely beautiful pair. But before I ever even got a chance to wrap it, I left it on the QM2 bus that night. Maybe it was the L’Chaim, maybe it was the fact that I was on my phone, maybe it was just me being an absent minded flawed human. But I’m so devastated to have lost it.

I told the rabbi and he was incredibly understanding. He told me not to beat myself up, but that’s easier said than done, even when the person who gave it to me forgave me without a second thought (it almost makes me feel worse).

I’ve made a report with the MTA and I’ve done everything I can to get it back. The bus depot said it was never turned it, but I’m holding out faith because who would steal tefillin? Non Jews don’t know what it is and Jews would never. But maybe someone took the satin bag thinking it was jewelry?

I’ve been praying and giving tzedakah, but this happened on Saturday so I’m starting to lose hope. I trust that if I’m supposed to have it, it’ll find its way back to me with Hashem’s help. Ive already posted on Yidfinder and Hashovas Avaida and called the MTA multiple times so I’m doing everything I can.

Any other ideas on how to get it back? Any advice on how to handle the guilt?