I feel Niddah doesn’t make you closer

So first off this is a throwaway account. I recently got married and I truly love my wife. I am really struggling with Niddah and I honestly never knew how intense it was until we learned about it before the wedding. Instead of bringing us closer it has done the opposite for me and I feel frustrated and confused.

I keep hearing that it strengthens the marriage but I am not experiencing that at all. It actually hurts to say this but it is pushing me away from religion because I am starting to resent how strict it is. For example we went on a vacation and my wife started spotting and suddenly we had to wait seven days. We ended up being intimate only once the whole trip and it made the whole experience feel stressful instead of natural.

We were both virgins so everything is already new and overwhelming and the constant stop and start makes it even harder. I feel like I am going crazy trying to balance what I was taught with what actually feels right in a real marriage. I feel lost and I would really like to hear from people who have gone through this or felt the same way.

I also find myself wondering where my own emotional and physical needs fit into all of this. It is hard to understand the point of being married when so much of our closeness feels blocked for reasons I am still struggling to make sense of.