How do I feel closer to god?

I’m a Middle Eastern European teenager, and I’ve been struggling to navigate my relationship with Judaism. I come from a Jewish background on both my maternal and paternal sides, though from different parts of the world. My mother isn’t religious and didn’t even realize she was Jewish until her 20s. My father grew up in a Jewish household, but he practices in a very liberal way and has a difficult relationship with his mother. Because of this, I was never taught Hebrew or how to engage with Judaism traditionally, and I’ve never been to a synagogue.

I’ve been trying really hard to connect with my Jewish identity and figure out how to “be Jewish,” but no matter how much effort I put in, it feels like I’m failing. I just want to feel closer to God and my heritage.

I’m really sorry if I got any terminology wrong in this, sorry.