I’m a woman, and really looking to do teshuvah this coming Yom kipper. I haven’t done it in years and I feel it weighing on me heavily and have no one to ask that I’m not embarrassed in front of for not knowing the answer. I went to yeshivah my whole life and don’t remember anything and I’ve felt a big disconnect with religion in my adult life probably stemming from a poor relationship with my mom. She has since passed away (in 2021 very young from a terrible cancer) and I have been in deep depression about it since-amongst other aspects in my life.
In an effort to repair my relationship with god I feel that I need to do a proper teshuvah this Yom kipper. I’m hoping it will bring me some peace. Can anyone let me know which prayers I have to say and when? Is it just Viddui? Do I have to throw my sins away? I’d really appreciate any guidance
PS I wish there was some sort of female Jewish mentor service for people like me. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore and the overwhelm of being clueless makes me not do anything at all relating to Judaism. Whenever I have tried going to the mikveh I leave in tears for some reason. It deeply triggers me. I definitely feel rejection and female loneliness is part of it. I also have endometriosis and I’m getting up there in age and don’t have any children yet because of illness so I’m just all around very touchy about that whole topic I guess.
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Source: Reditt
