Baal Teshuva struggling with kashrut at parents’ home

I’m 26, a baal teshuva, and I recently finished my degree in social work. I’m now working full-time in the field, but it will take me about a year until I’m financially stable enough to move out and live on my own. For now, I have no choice but to stay with my parents.

Here’s my situation: – My parents’ kitchen is completely treif. – I managed to get a few of my own utensils: one wide pot (not tall), one small frying pan, one cooking spoon, one spatula, a cutting board, and two knives. I also use disposable plates and cutlery. – Everything I cook in my utensils is pareve (I don’t eat meat now, and I don’t use them for dairy). – I asked that under no circumstances should my utensils go in the dishwasher, and thankfully my parents respect that. – My parents set a hard boundary: no more utensils, no more kitchen takeover. What I have is what I have.

The emotional side: I was vegan for 9.5 years. Only recently did I leave veganism behind, and at the same time I started keeping kosher. For my mom, that was a huge relief – she told me she thought the “limitations” were finally over. But now, instead of it getting easier, from her perspective it’s gotten even more complicated. She basically hasn’t been cooking for me for years, and the little hope she had to “get her son back at the table” feels crushed.

Meanwhile, I feel like I’m breaking down. I can’t say no to their food all the time without hurting them and myself. But even simple things like mashed potatoes end up being heated in their treif oven or stirred with a treif spoon. I feel like I’m living like a homeless person in my own home – stuck between halakha and kibbud av va’em, between wanting to keep kosher and not wanting to destroy my relationship with my parents.

Before I became observant, I ate anything vegan without a second thought. Now, every meal feels like a battle.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you handle it? Did you “press pause” on some parts of halakha until you could live on your own, or did you find a way to make it work at home?

Any advice, support, or chizuk from people who’ve walked this path would mean the world.