Trying to make my own Rosh Hashanah

I [33M] grew up in a modern orthodox home and went to a yeshiva elementary and high school, as well as took a gap year studying in a very orthodox yeshiva in Jerusalem before college. I went to shul every shabbos and holiday, and I was encouraged to daven with a minyan every day (though school going late into the evening usually meant that was all scheduled for me anyway). I simply never felt like I truly belonged.

During my time at a public university, I slowly drifted away from ‘extracurricular’ Judaism. I still kept kosher and shabbos, but I realy only learned or went to shul if I felt like it — which eventually was never — since I didn’t feel comfortable anymore; it no longer felt like my space. Over the last 10 years, I’ve drifted further away from feeling Jewish by breaking shabbos and no longer strictly keeping kosher while dating (and now being engaged!) to a christian [34M]. I struggled with coming out as gay and dealing with gender roles in an orthodox setting.

With the holidays approaching, I still want to connect with Rosh Hashanah (and Judaism in-general). Coming from an orthodox background, reform and conservative, etc spaces just feel off to me, but I dislike the idea of a mechitza and gender roles in services — not to mention that I don’t really want to attend a service in general, so instead I feel isolated. My current plan for Rosh Hashanah is simply to take off work, stay at home, and play Silksong (which isn’t really on-theme), as well as maybe tune into a live broadcast of services from CBST.

I’m not really sure what I want, but I’m looking to find a space to be Jewish with other Jews without the burden of everything else (my fiance compared this to a Christmas party for christians who are there just for fun). I wish a space or programming like this existed, but I’m posting here to check if maybe it does exist. I live in Brooklyn, and I’m looking for friends and community.

tl;dr looking to hang out with Jews in Brooklyn on the holidays without the burden of religion.