Not sure I believe in Moshiach 😬

My family wasn’t religious and even sent me to Catholic school, so my concept of Moshiach was heavily colored by the Christian idea of the Messiah. Probably because of this, I feel an aversion to the concept altogether.

I daven by Chabad so I hear about Moshiach a lot and struggle not to roll my eyes internally (I know, I’m so sorry). I believe in Hashem, I believe in the Torah, yet this is something I just can’t seem to swallow. It’s like I just “don’t buy it” and I feel ashamed about that.

I mentioned it to my father, who, despite not being particularly religious himself, reminded me that “it’s kind of a fundamental part of our religion.” I get that. That’s why I want to believe it. But I just don’t.

Help!