I feel invalid as a practicing jews because of my self inflicted scars

Our bodies are a gift from God, yet I cut mine up for no valid reason (valid reasons being stuff like surgery). I’ve never seen another jew with self harm scars—I have seen jews with body alterations like tattoos, piercings, etc., but those are to help people feel happier in their own skin, I did the complete opposite. I hate my scars, and my dermatologist says they’ll never fully go away.

I started cutting when I was going through an atheist phase, I was so depressed that I believed no loving God would let me feel that way. But I eventually realized that distancing myself from God wasn’t helping, it was doing the opposite, and that going to shul is good for my mental health (helps me to stop isolating, and my rabbi helps me see the world through a less negative light). But even after I started practicing Judaism again, I kept cutting, I was addicted at that point. I kept giving myself excuses—“I already have permanent scars, what does it matter if I add a few more?”, “It doesn’t count if I don’t cut deep enough”, etc. I feel ashamed that I would do such a thing, I’ve let everyone down including myself and ruined the beautiful body God gave me

I just can’t accept that I’ve done this to myself, and my therapist has given me advice on accepting it, but he’s never addressed the religious aspect of why I hate my scars since he’s not religious. Are there any other practicing jews with self harm scars? How do you accept them?