Feelings of anger toward my converting Rabbi and community

I have nothing but feelings of anger toward Orthodoxy and I don’t know how to reconcile it

I’m the son of a fully Jewish man and a non-Jewish woman. I understand within Orthodoxy their definition of Halacha classifies me in the clear category of a non-Jew within a binary. What I don’t understand is the lack of empathy toward people in my position including the simple acknowledgement of ethnic identity.

I don’t and never will view my status as more than a halachic inequity. Someone with no connection to Judaism, someone who hasn’t shed blood for the Jewish people, someone who hasn’t marched for Israel and even tried to serve in the Israeli military (rejected cuz of age), but because their great grandmother was a Jew they are embraced and accepted within Orthodoxy as Jewish as Moshe.

You know what fine, I submitted myself to this narrishkeit because I reconciled my identity as my identity and Halacha as Halacha and figured I could just push through the conversion process and no problem get the halachic status.

Since the first moment I walked in my Shul I have felt nothing but disrespect, people not greeting me, people treating me like a novelty, 4 months into the conversion process and not a single invitation to a shabbos meal or in any way made to feel welcome.

All of this culminates two weeks ago in another Shul member openly disrespecting me by disclosing my status for the third time (yes the third time) to another member when there were plenty of people present for a minyan. Like plenty of people. The other member clearly dislikes me for going through conversion and every time they encounter me they find a way to make me feel uncomfortable.

I finally found the courage to confront them midway through davening and told them to meet me outside. They proceeded to grab me by the arm as soon as I started speaking, screamed in my face and when I confronted them as they walked off they told me to “go to hell”. I told my rabbi all of this and he proceeded to tell me he would discuss this with the member in question but it’s been 2 weeks I texted him multiple times about this and still I am stonewalled with “I need to find the right time”. I understand somewhat as the other member is volatile, but I’m his conversion student, am I not worthy of the dignity of being defended?

This same rabbi meets me 45 minutes after Mincha service on shabbos and that’s all I get if that. He never responds to my texts or if he does it’s like 4+ days later, he doesn’t ever have time to meet with me or schedule anything, he wouldn’t even do anything but send me a Chabad.org list for halachot of Purim.

I had to practically teach myself Hebrew completely except a little help from another Shul member who is very kind to me, and all I can do is say it phonetically, I don’t know what im saying whatsoever except a few words here and there.

Is this really what a conversion within Orthodoxy is supposed to look like? Also how can a man who has like 6 families maybe 7 or 8 max and not even a minyan most shabbos mornings, how can he be so busy he can’t find the time for his single conversion student to teach me halachot and Hebrew?

In my heart I’m done with this conversion but I have no other Orthodox Shul in walking distance of where I live and I believe in Jewish law too much to do a non-Orthodox conversion (I’m not gonna disrespect other movements but I believe in the Torah as a literal covenant). I guess this is just a rant because I’m tired of being shit on.