After several months in the Orthodox conversion process I decided it wasn’t for me

Not bashing Orthodoxy as I really like and admire parts of it like the Orthopraxy and strict devotion to G-d, but as someone who wasn’t raised with strict gender segregation and frankly who doesn’t believe 100% in the Torah the way Orthodox do, I couldn’t find it in myself to continue the conversion process. I had some negative experiences as well including being assaulted by a fellow Shul member and I felt my rabbi didn’t do enough to defend me, but ultimately that isn’t the main reason why I left.

Anyway, I still believe in G-d and believe in the covenant, I still Daven 3 times a day, keep kosher, and plan on still keeping shabbos, but I’m meeting with a Conservative rabbi this Shabbat to attend services and he is willing to take me on and convert me.

Tl;dr I think a huge part of the Orthodox conversion was the desire for Orthopraxy, intellectual honesty, and social acceptance, but while I respect and admire the first (Orthopraxy), I don’t believe in the uncorrupted word of the Torah, nor do I want to be a part of a movement that segregates men and women nor states homosexual sex is a sin, when in my heart I don’t believe that. I also don’t want to raise my kids with ideas contrary to my own beliefs just to be accepted as universally as possible as a Jew.

Edit: I still plan to speak with the rabbi about forming an all male born Jewish (by O standards) Beit Din for intellectual honesty’s sake since I at least want the authenticity of a halachic conversion for my own sake (I want to fulfill the traditional legal definition of a Beit Din for my own sake, not acceptance).

Not sure why I made this post, I guess it just feels liberating to be honest with myself for once. I don’t have any animosity toward Orthodoxy I just don’t believe in it enough to live that life or raise future kids in it.

Edit 2: I’m Patrilineal which is why I feel so strongly about converting and wanted to convert O to begin with. It sucks being denied my identity by others but I’ve learned to not give a crap anymore or give people that power over me. I’m a Jew because my father was Jewish, I practice Judaism, and G-d willing in the future I will have paperwork (conservative).