Why do ultra-orthodox Jewish people seem outwardly uninviting, if not rude?

Disclaimer: This is NOT to offend; I could ask fervent Christians the same thing. I’m not of the Jewish faith, nor Christian; if anything, I feel religion serves a spiritual function in man, that he is slowly outgrowing as he evolves. I don’t think the last sentence is necessarily a good thing either.

My sister’s husband is Jewish (culturally secular), and by all accounts a good father and husband, and cool with me. My half-sister is actually Jewish herself, albeit pretty secular. Majority of my friends growing up were Jewish, and they could be rather exclusive at times. For example, they’d sometimes have parties and just not invite me or any of the other select few who weren’t of a Jewish upbringing. As I got older, I took an interest in Hasidic literature; I learned quite a lot about the Baal Shem Tov and read the many myth stories regarding him. I learned about the esoteric meaning of ChaBaD (Wisdom, Understanding on either side of a continuum to make da’at or knowledge), among many other things. Point is, if anything, I likely know more about deeper Jewish esotericism and philosophy than many culturally secular Jewish friends of mine. Yet, every single encounter that I have had to discuss these extremely interesting concepts with a Hasid or orthodox Jew has been met with an uninviting demeanor, bordering on dismissive. I have seen a number of interviews with orthodox to full-on ultra-orthodox Hasids in areas like Israel, where they are asked opinions of other religious ideas or if they feel goy/gentile/גוים are equal to them; astonishingly, they will often answer without hesitation that non-Jews are distinctly not equal to the Jewish people.

TLDR: where does this demeanor come from? It is something I observe on a continuum in many Jewish people ranging from culturally secular, who are maybe slightly exclusive in a more subtle way, to the ultra-orthodox who are bluntly/unapologetically clear that they feel they are superior to the גוים. Additionally, the Hasidic people that I have interacted with seem so serious, tense even, that it begs me to question how would one not have a certain self-awareness to question the merit of their system given the state of what appears to be almost constant unease?