Where to Go from Here?

Hello and shana tova!

I hope everyone is doing well. A little backstory, I’m an Orthodox convert for about 2 years. Since I converted, I’ve really struggled to find my place in Judaism. I’ve never gone completely OTD but I really don’t think the observant lifestyle is for me. I’ll spare the whole story because it’s a lot. Every time I decide to give the religious life another go, I’m reminded again of why I left. I would love to find where I fit in, maybe something that’s traditional but not completely Orthodox, where there’s still young people, if that exists.

My questions go out to people who maybe became less religious but are still involved with Judaism. What does living a Jewish life mean to you? How do you decide what to keep and what not to? How do you keep the guilt away? What does it mean to be traditional vs Orthodox (this is something I’ve heard but idk what it means)?

Thank you so much for any info <3.