I used “should,” which is definitely a problem word in general. There isn’t usually a solid binary delineation point for most things, especially something like religion and spirituality… But still, here I am with the same dilemma.
What light should be clicking in my head to tell me, “Hey, so you have read quite enough about history and practices and scripture as a ‘hobby,’ maybe there’s a reason you’ve submerged yourself in this?”
How does one ideally feel before and after the mikveh in terms of difference (again though, should, ideally are kind of bad words)?
I don’t think I’ve ever felt transcendent after anything and I don’t fully expect that to happen. Maybe… Settled? I just can’t imagine it but certainly others have felt so overcome by their involvement and investment that they go through the process and make observation and community active parts of their life both spiritually and corporeally.
I just feel lost on what splits a want-to and need-to. Anyone able to speak on their experience from any end of this process? It would be deeply appreciated.