I feel like I’m having an identity crisis or something recently. I was born and raised in an ex-Soviet state, and obviously my parents and even my grandparents knew nothing about Judaism or what you’re supposed to do as a Jew so they couldn’t pass this knowledge on me.
Growing up, I never went to a Hebrew school or had a chance to learn what it means to be a Jew. I never even had any Jewish friends just because there were no other Jewish kids around me. Now I live in the US, and I feel myself super awkward coming to a synagogue as I have no idea what’s going on or what am I supposed to do there. It also feels a bit awkward to be around the American Jews because we’re obviously very different and we come from the very different backgrounds. Same thing applies to Israel, I don’t feel any strong emotional attachment with the Jews in Israel too – I don’t speak any Hebrew, and even though I visited Israel many times, I never felt like I share a lot in common with people over there.
So what’s exactly my connection with the other Jews? What makes me a Jew? Is it a DNA thing and for some weird reason I happened to be born a Jew or is it something bigger than that? Is it going to make any difference if my own kids will be Jewish or not? I see that some people here want to convert to become Jewish and I know it takes a lot of of effort and dedication to do so but I have no idea what to do with my own Jewish identity