hey all, i’m sorry for the novel, this got a bit more rambling then i intended.
so i had previously posted here before a few months ago, and i finally decided i was going to take the leap and research local synagogues and see if it was good fit for me.
i didn’t grow up religious. my mom and i weren’t encouraged (re: allowed) to learn more about our jewish roots by my fairly antisemitic father (we just weren’t jewish; it was all laughable). so we just never really looked into it. my mom’s mother we raised jewish until she was about 14, then there was a drastic religion change and they never spoke of it again, so to speak. so my mom didn’t have any exposure to judaism either, she just knew it was there in the family (her entire family died early on, except for her siblings).
over the years, especially this past one, i’ve been more and more interested in learning about judaism and have done some research on my own (thanks to this sub, too!) i was able to decide that i’d like to take that plunge, reform judaism seems like a good fit for me, and researched local synagogues. i was corresponding with one that seemed solid, very inclusive and had a decent amount of diversity, and i had initially asked to speak to the rabbi. the person i was speaking with (i think she was an assistant?) asked me if i had ever attended their services, to which i said no, i was newer to the area and COVID made things like that impossible. but now that things are a little safer in our city and many are vaccinated, i’d like to look into getting more information and officially converting. i gave a similar example as above of my upbringing and how i know nothing of the community and religion which meant i would probably be in need of some education resources as well.
I haven’t heard anything from her since, about two weeks ago. i feel so discouraged and disheartened, as i’ve been a pretty cemented atheist and frowned upon organized religion for the majority of my life and it felt difficult for me to take this step forward. i don’t want to totally just give up, and was wondering if there’s anything i can just do by myself at home? i *NEED* to learn more, i don’t know shit. i just don’t know what steps i should take now. there’s so much information out there that i don’t want to get overwhelmed and get in over my head, but i don’t want to just give up on this.
any and all feedback would be so helpful for me and so appreciated.
conversely, if i fucked up in the email correspondence in a way that would make her feel inclined to cease communication, i’d like that pointed out, too.