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Trying not to rage at one of the local Chabads right now

This is honestly just a vent.


My kids and I started going to one of the local Chabads (not our usual one) for Shabbat shacharis a few months ago. Since then my kids have been physically injured by other kids there multiple times and have been poked, pushed, called names and more.

A month and a half ago one of the kids pushed my kid in the neck, causing a trachea injury. A grown-up brought them an ice pack, but didn’t inform me that this had happened when it’s actually a life-threatening injury that calls for an urgent care visit. I didn’t find out until we got home, and because my kiddo was having trouble breathing for almost a week of course we saw a doctor. At the time I thought OK bad accident.

After that my kids complained about the other kids pushing and kicking them multiple times. We stopped going every week.

And in fact, last year, I had tried to put my kids in the Hebrew school there, and my kids cried and begged me not to send them and one of my kids somehow got the idea that if they don’t have all the brachas memorized it’s because they’re “stupid”. I have no idea where they got this idea but it definitely wasn’t from me or any of our people. Obviously I didn’t send them back to the Hebrew school.

This past week we went for shacharis and after kiddush all the kids were playing on the jungle gym. My kid was eating chips and dropped a chip from the top of the jungle gym and it fell down by a bunch of the other kids. Those kids then saw that as some sort of offense and started poking my kids over and over. I told them all to keep their hands to themselves and they started screaming at me that they “play fight with their brother all the time”. I said my kids don’t play fight, removed my kids and we went and sat down somewhere else. While we were sitting the other kids kept trying to sneak up on my kids, which was fine because they ran away when we indicated we saw them so we played along.

Then I started chatting with the Rabbi and I was only talking to him for about 15 minutes when my kids came up, screaming and crying, saying the other kids are mean. After talking to them, I found out that the other kids started poking them again and not only that but were also kicking them and pretending to punch them then calling them “pussies” when they flinched. My kids kept asking them to stop and they didn’t, then one of the kids shoved a toddler car into my kids legs which is when they came to me crying.

My kids are extremely well-behaved, timid, and polite. They don’t physically fight with each other at home, they never get in trouble at school and there are never any behavioral problems whatsoever. I know for a fact that I can turn my head and my kids will not cause problems, hurt other kids, call people names or do anything wrong at all.

The part that I’m really bothered about is that the parents, staff and the Rebbitzin were right there while this was happening and didn’t say or do anything. They didn’t tell their kids to keep their hands to themselves or anything at all. On top of that once they saw my kids crying and upset, they still didn’t say or do anything. Now I’ve told them what happened to my kids in writing saying we can’t go back there because my kids aren’t safe, and all they have to say is “I’m sorry to hear about this but respect your decision”.

Ok so you’re not sorry that my kids were bullied and physically injured at your synagogue and School? And you’re not going to do anything about it or to prevent this from happening in the future? No statement? Nothing?

The non-response from the staff is making me feel pretty angry, and I understand now why my kids begged me not to put them in their school.

I spoke to the Rabbi of the Chabad we usually go to and his response was far more reasonable, which is that he’s sorry that this happened and it’s totally not OK and that he wants to do something to try to make it better. But then the staff at the place where this happened has nothing to say other than “ok bye”. Apparently one of the kids gets in trouble all the time for being too physical with other kids, and his parents work there, and they all let the kid run around unsupervised.

So. Just venting. Trying not to be reactive and make it worse but I feel like screaming at them. Obviously I won’t, we’re never going back and there’s no fixing it when the shul itself lets kids run wild with no adult intervention then chooses to be passive about bullying and physical violence between kids.

<end vent>

submitted by /u/notfrumenough
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Source: Reditt