I’m a Brazilian woman who was raised in the Christian faith, but I don’t follow it anymore. My whole name has Portuguese Sephardic origins, but no one in my family is Jewish or has any links to Judaism. We have no documents of our ancestors, so it is very difficult to find out anything. I thought about doing a DNA genealogy, but I don’t know if it’s worth it….
I’ve had this pull to Judaism for as long as I can remember. It has become stronger since I moved to Paris to live and build my life here. It’s something really crazy and I don’t know how to explain it, just feel it. It’s very strong and I can’t stop thinking about it.
Since I was a child, I was curious about Jewish culture and maybe I was very traumatized/impressed when I learned about the Shoah by myself when I was about 8 years old. Since then, I always had a feeling, a desire to connect with the community, with the faith, but I never did. It was something like an obsession and I never knew how to explain it, I even thought it was something morbid in me that I had this pullas a child because I learned about the Shoah.
What I want to know is: how long did it take you, who converted, from the pull to the decision to convert to Judaism? Since when did you feel this pull?
I’ve been thinking about converting since this feeling became stronger, or at least being an observer, to get to know the culture better, but I’m afraid and I don’t know why. I don’t have yet the courage to go to see a rabbi