First post here. I was raised in Texas with a very reform secular upbringing. Bar Mitzvah’d by a woman Rabbi. During Hanukkah I started attending Shul events with my best friend and her husband who are Orthodox. On the last night of Hanukkah I met the man I will probably spend the rest of my life with. When you know you know. We are connected on every level and we have established a very loving relationship over the past couple months. I have never felt this way about someone and I know he is my person. This being said we are still taking things slow. My secular reform family is based in Texas and I am based in LA where I met my new boyfriend and his whole Orthodox French Moroccan family. My boyfriend goes to Shul Mondays and Thursday mornings and keeps shabbat. I do not. I am still very secular. I actually think I will always be secular. I love Judaism and belong to a Reform Synagogue and I love keeping our beautiful religions traditions.
My new boyfriends Rabbi—who I met during Hanukkah and technically introduced us has recently been very aggressive and demanding that I prove my jewish status in order to keep seeing my now boyfriend. I am not used to this or from this world so it is very foreign to me. This Rabbi is also Rabbi to my boyfriends family (Sister, cousins, aunt, etc). He is demanding that they do not feel I am jewish and that I need to provide all documentation that I am.
This is my first interaction with Orthodox Judaism and I have never faced so much judgment for not being “jewish enough”. The rabbi says that all of this will stop once I prove I am “really” jewish and I suppose my question is this:
Is this the standard that all orthodox couples have to go through? Do you have to prove you are jewish to date? Or am I being singled out because I am secular? Is he trying to break us up? My boyfriend has skipped morning prayers some mornings because we have been together and skipped shabbat with his family. Is the Rabbi just doing this because maybe he thinks he will “lose” my boyfriend? or turn him secular?
My family’s reaction to me being asked for documentation was shock. They know much less about LA’s orthodox Judaism scene then I. I am 67% Ashkenazi on a DNA test but this is some how not enough.
This is causing me so me so much stress and heartache. I feel like I will never be able to prove I am enough. I would love any advice, thoughts, or answers anyone has about my current situation. Thank you so much.