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Scared, but the most in my faith I have been in years.

The day i woke up to the news, and the 23andme jewish data leaks on the same day I think have changed my life.

I grew up Jewish going to both catholic camps and jewish camps, my mom converted to christianity in my early teens. This has made me so genuinely spiritually confused I think. Going back and forth between the two with questions and then sometimes not feeling like I belong in either. Growing up in public school in the area I am in I was even embarrassed to say I was Jewish, I would be made fun of. For that I am ashamed.

I have never felt so close to my people, so terrified everything I grew up with could disappear. The holy place I almost was able to go see, disappear. My people suffer so much. I thought I was the lucky generation that the holocaust may as well been generations ago. Now it feels like its breathing down my neck and its not so far in our rear view mirror.

my friends cousins are in IDF and I am so scared for them.

At first it was shock and I don’t believe it was computing in my brain

I never considered myself a religious person although I have tried and questioned. After reading, watching, and removing many people I considered to be friends once, I prayed today.

I prayed for an hour in tears on the floor looking at my ceiling. I feel like I got an unspoken response in the moment I looked up. I have had signs and feelings before, but this was like a sudden change of mind, realization, knowing?

I’ll continue to pray and study.

This isn’t a political post, I am trying to express what all of this is making me feel with my faith, though.

submitted by /u/thellamadarma
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Source: Reditt