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Rejected by Judaism’s Machas

Still sad about being rejected and bullied and reduced by the Rabbi and co-students in an adult Bar Mitzvah program at a Reform temple in Montreal.

An example from my experience: I once made a comment that Spinoza was still Jewish even though he was excommunicated. To which the Rabbi stiffened and icily said that his community wouldn’t have considered him as such and quickly moved on. This coldness was typical.

Another example: The host of a potluck meeting informed me she wouldn’t put my banana bread and watermelon on the table because “we already have that on the spread. “ FYI, there was plenty of room on the table (and no other banana bread.)

Reflecting back, I guess I just didn’t have the same professional status/ lifestyle sacred cows (I.e. private Jewish schools for the kids) as the rest. I did contribute a lot to the discussions, but was in the middle of a career transition, and feeling a bit unmoored. And as a transplant to the city, I was literally coming from a different place.

I asked to meet with the Rabbi, but she didn’t make time for me. So I told her about some of this treatment on the phone. Her response was “I’m sure they didn’t mean it.” There must be some more compassionate wisdom or insight in the Torah.

So I gave notice that I was leaving the program. Only one out of 12 said goodbye. I expressed my interest to remain on the email list and follow their learning, but someone removed me from the group.

As I write this, I realize maybe I was just a bit like Spinoza myself. Not that I am a bonafide philosopher of any sort. Only that my thinking or being didn’t conform enough to their criteria to be accepted. P.S. If you google “Jewish Philosopher”, Spinoza is the first name to pop up. Guess I’m not the only one who considers him Jewish. And despite the rejection, I’m still Jewish too.

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