Today is the second yahrzeit of my Grandfather, and I lit a candle last night. I suggested placing it in the bathtub while we slept as she worried the cats would get near it, but she said she wanted to make sure it was close to us. I woke up this morning to the candle blown out, and she again told me she felt unsafe with it burning. I am extremely saddened by this as I needed this moment to remember my Grandfather.
We are at home quarantined together, and she hasn’t spoken to me all day. Just got into another argument – even after I told her I ordered an electric candle – and she’s pissed that I would do something unsafe in our home. I’m pissed that she is trying to deny me a tradition that gives me a bit of comfort. She is half Jewish, but doesn’t practice. She also just told me that her neurotic mother always told her candles were “unsafe,” and never had them around the house.
What do I do here?