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Non Jewish here, trying to learn how to pray.

Hello everyone,

I am a non-Jewish woman in my mid 30’s. I am trying to seek knowledge on how to actually pray… If that makes sense? I am very interested on how Jewish people pray, where do you learn about the dos and donts.

I am not hoping anyone will give me all the instructions on a silver plate, but maybe point me toward the right sources?

I was raised Christian, so “praying” usually involved begging for things, crying when things didn’t go our way, or frantically thanking for blessings we absolutely didn’t believe would ever come.

Transaction prayers, “please G-d give me X, and I will do Y in return.” and never again think about G-d until the next transaction. As if G-d is a bank and you apply for a loan, and flee the country with the money.

I am trying to build a relationship of trust and accountability between me and G-d. I want to approach, I want to repent for my mistakes, I want to learn and become a person that earns my blessings, instead of just sitting in the dark begging to be picked up.

I have done a lot of wrong and stupid things with my soul my whole life. Made other people do wrong and stupid things with their souls as well. I hurt people I love, I put myself through pain, shame and guilt.

Recently, I started a relationship with a Jewish man and I very much love him. At first, I wanted to learn more about his culture and his beliefs in order to accommodate and understand him, and he is more than willing to help me with that process. Gave me a Torah and I am trying to learn the best way to study it.

However, I am – of course, having lost the previous circle I was part of and decided to forfeit my old beliefs for the sake of my soul and my relationship – feeling quite lonely and alienated. So I will hangout with G-d and do my best to be worthy, and a good student.

Any help anyone can provide, I will appreciate very much!

submitted by /u/thatsadbrazilian
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Source: Reditt