I (23F Christian) have been dating for more than half a year a man in his middle 20s who’s family is Orthodox Jewish (only the parents are, the extended family is not practicing). He became atheist in his teen years and had a difficult relationship with his parents, now they’re in good terms but his family is still frustrated that he doesn’t follow the religion anymore (he’s the only atheist in the family). Before meeting me, he didn’t have any serious relationships and he never presented any girl to his family. From my side, my family is Christian orthodox but I rarely practice the religion. I’m familiar with many aspects of Judaism from my boyfriend and from many Jewish friends I had during my teen years.
We’re both very in love and committed to this relationship long term, we have many things in common (both Eastern European), we travel together, the relationship is amazing and we’re planing on moving out this year. My main problem is that I never met his family, and although they know about me and it was once mentioned months ago that they want to meet me, nothing ever happened. He doesn’t want to force them to meet, nor do I. The issue is that in the past I went through a traumatic break up because my ex’s family didn’t approve me (nothing to do with religion), I’m dreading that the same thing will happen here. We spoke about it multiple times, he knows that I’m scared of the outcomes and that I want to meet his family before moving out. He keeps repeating that he won’t leave this relationship even if his parents disapprove of me, but it is still a fear I’ll probably always have. He also said that he wanted me to initially meet a few siblings before I meet his parents, but that never happened either. However, he met my family, is in good terms with them and they love him. They know his background too and I just got a warning from them saying that I should be careful so I don’t get hurt as badly as I did in my previous relationship (referring to his family potentially not accepting me).
Does anyone have a similar lived experience? How did your partner’s parents reacted when they first met you and you were non-Jewish? Were you accepted by the family? Or perhaps you’re from a religious Jewish family and you have a similar story? How did everything unfold for you?
submitted by /u/endrophn