Noahide Laws For Non-Noahides (That Are Already Jewish)?

Hey everyone!

I’m really sorry if this is an odd question however I am asking from a very honest & lost place. I feel very lost spiritually tbh. For reference, 30F born Jewish, considered secular, grew up abroad, secular yet always felt spiritual. I love watching Rabbi Tovia Singer and try dabbling in other Jewish information and material when I feel like it resonates with my soul.

Recently, I found out about Noahides and the Noahide Laws. I found them super interesting and all the Noahide ppl were literally nothing but SUPER sweet, gentle and of moral ppl – I was in awe and found them fascinating.

This is hard to put into words but spiritually I find it hard to resonate with some things in Judaism. This is just a very small example but like keeping kosher ect. I don’t keep kosher apart from eating kosher meat when eating meat and when I so happen to keep kosher – it really is by default (like, I so happen don’t have meals that mix ect). Anyways, what I’m trying to say is I do not feel a spiritual connection with quite a lot of things that religious Orthodox Jewish ppl do. I would be more honest and say why exactly and reveal my true feelings however I know it would probably come across disrespectful so I’m trying to refrain…

My question is – would it be weird, me feeling so lost spiritually, that I follow the Noahide Laws instead? Even though I am not a righteous gentile? Meaning I am already Jewish fully . So I understand maybe this whole thing is odd of me. Like, I realize ppl might say just be Jewish, what’s wrong with you? But again, spiritually I do not resonate with a lot of certain things. That being said, just to be clear, I do not deny my identity at all though, and never have (I still would consider myself Jewish and not say otherwise). From an Orthodox standpoint, It’s just hard to betray myself and do things for the sake of doing them just because it’s said so – I feel like it would be MORE respectful to do things religiously from a heart that feels like it’s the right thing to do; spiritually & emotionally. Which is precisely why I am secular; from a personal & society point of view. That being said, like I tried to state above – still spiritual.

I am just so lost tbh. The Noahide Laws feel like a lovely breath of fresh air. That being said I’m such an amateur that I had to ask all this because I realize it’s better to ask…can one follow the noahide laws? If they’re already Jewish? Would Noahides find me weird? (Like “uhh you’re already Jewish sooo??”), would other Jewish ppl find me odd? (“Why not elevate yourself and be more Jewish??)…idk what to think anymore.

Here’s my spiritual baseline for reference – fully monotheistic and Panantheist.

Would love to hear your thoughts please! 🙏💙 Thank you!!