My friend of 23 years was complaining about her boyfriend to my family at a get together. Over the last few years, he has started following down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories AND has been increasingly emotionally and verbally abusive to her. She refuses to leave him, and I know that can be a typical mindset for abuse victims. I state this first to give some background. During this get together, she was giving examples of some of the crazy beliefs he has and stated that he thinks Hitler had some good ideas and that the Holocaust wasn’t exactly as we think it was. I sat on that for a few weeks to analyze how I felt about this. I asked her what she meant by it. She said that Hitler was a capitalist and that was good, but he hates Hitler of course! I asked her about the Holocaust comment and she “didn’t get to that yet” with them. I followed up a week or two later (yesterday) asking what he meant by that because it’s been bothering me. She said that he thinks not as many Jewish people were killed as history states. That she argued with him but he yelled at her. I kept pushing back that I don’t understand how she could abide by that sentiment. She kept telling me to talk to him directly. But she’s the one who’s my friend. She keeps saying that he doesn’t hail Hitler and doesn’t hate Jewish people. I feel angry and upset that she doesn’t understand why this bothers me so much. Am I being unreasonable? To me, this is a friendship ending issue.
I apologize for the length. I thank you for your input.