My dad’s mum was Jewish who raised my dad as Jewish, who then went on to raise us kids as catholic. My grandmother’s parents somehow fled Europe with her as a bub in the 30s. My dad was raised a jew but then gave up his religion and raised us kids as catholic. I always knew that Grandma was jewish, and to some extension my dad was but I didn’t understand what it was to be jewish until I met my friend. Hanging out with Jews has always given me an identity crisis. After getting to know my new friend, and seeing him do Jew things around me I feel deeply intrigued by the culture, the people and thr religion. I look again at the family tree available to me and see german, polish and russian names mixed with hebrew names again and again and again. It made me feel like I am part of the same people as my new friend, part of the same people with 4000 years shared history… Yet there has been a blip of 30 years in my own history and now I approach Judaism with only a very rudimentary understanding. I’ve started learning Shema and Shacharit, and Mitzvot, and will soon enroll in a Hebrew class… I feel impassioned and inspired, but I shake the feeling of being an imposter. Like I’m not a Jew, because my father was the jew, not my mother, and he gave up his religion. I will never be a jew. Is it silly to continue learning Judaism? On one hand I feel an exciting feeling of “I’ve met my people”, but I don’t feel like I’m your people. My new jew friend says that’s classic Diaspora but I’m not sure. I feel like a jew-fan-girl loser dweeb
My dad is jew-ish. He raised me jew-ish-ish. I want to learn more but feel silly
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