I was talking with a very Orthodox friend, and he began to vehemently insult another Orthodox gay Jew (he doesn’t know him well, but he and I were acquaintances), calling him slurs and saying he brought shame to Judaism, even more because his father was a rabbi and couldn’t even « prevent » his own son’s homosexuality.
I’m very well aware homosexuality is a difficult topic, and I do think it’s stupid to say people have absolutely no choice when it comes to their relationships (or that love is what matters when Judaism in itself is way more about duty than love), but I still think the guy must’ve already gone through a rough path, surely his family and community were far from pleased with the news, and it took him years and a lot of struggling (and courage, to be honest) to confess.
To me, my friend’s words were much more chocking and hurtful than the other’s sexual orientation (which wasn’t even his business in the first place), and brought even more dishonor to Judaism, because he truly meant them and chose these words, chose not to respect this other Jew, and didn’t try to understand his situation and help him.
The same guy told me he hated Israel’s policies towards LGBT people (with the Prides and everything). I don’t like the Prides either, but I think it should apply to people committing all sorts of sins in Israel, because we’ll never be enough for this Land. Just like people who swear, who betray a promise, who trash the country with garbage, to use only three basic examples. Like, the people who end up throwing up near night clubs because they’re drunk and high end up being a bigger disgrace daily. Tons of things in this world are forbidden or frowned upon by Jewish authorities, but don’t bring that anger, then even just civil marriage should be an issue.
If we go back to sexuality, tons of Orthodox Jews from his community are obsessed with homosexuality, but are way more okay (not fond of it at all but accept it anyway) with people using condoms, practicing oral sex, or even sexual relationships between heterosexual people who are not married yet. I’m all of these cases, I’m talking about both Jews and goyim.
I don’t think I’ll ever consider him to be right, but is he according to the Law ? Not that this sick obsession is right (by the way, I’m 99% sure it’s not because he’s gay himself), but is he right to consider homosexuality to be a bigger issue than most ? Even if the gay guy does good and brings something to the people who know him, will he forever be less than people who do nothing more than they have to because of it ?