So as you can tell by the title I’m in need of some guidance. I apologize in advance if this is a bit rambly. I’m almost 20 and have been exploring various religions for the past two years. To give some background with my family, no one is religious anymore. Apparently my great (or maybe great great) grandmother was Jewish, which my mom always said made me one of “the chosen people.” However, my mom and both grandparents were not raised in Judaism and now everyone is sort of unsure and doesn’t care enough to help me figure out any questions I have about religion.
This past year I’ve had some experiences that have proved to me God is real. I always found comfort in attending chapels in high school (I went to a presbyterian hs but it was very relaxed/never forced on us and I didn’t learn much till I started college). Then this past year I started going to Catholic mass occasionally which I enjoyed at times but each time I went I always felt guilty bc of my Jewish blood (please let me know if that’s stupid) and because I’ve never felt like I could accept the story of Jesus.
Anyway, I guess my big question is where do I go from here. I want to learn more about Judaism, maybe actually convert. Although I’ve already read some texts on it I’m not sure if I should read the Torah, reach out to my local temple, join Hillel at my college (this seems terrifying as the other students were probably raised Jewish begin with and I’ll look like an idiot), etc? I think what really scares me is how overwhelming everything is; understanding the history, learning Hebrew… If anyone has any suggestions for me or even words of encouragement I’d really appreciate it.