I’m a 22 year old student, Jewish dad and Muslim mum. My dad died when I was 10 after which my mum raised me with only her faith. At around 14 I expressed a desire to convert officially but my orthodox conversion didn’t happen until I was 19.
Anyway, I’ve recently started a new university in the city. I want to join the Jewish society but all attempts at joining (via a Facebook group) keep being rejected whereas my white Jewish friends have all been accepted. I’ve also tried to find a perfect synagogue and in the process come across people who point out how I’m darker than them, often suspicious. I’ve been asked “what is your interest in this” at the door of a synagogue before, for example, and my friend insisted it was simply because they’re not used to dark jews. (I’m half Yemenite Jew and half Yemeni Muslim so I’m quite brown)
I also tend to be quite honest about my mum being Muslim, most folk find that fascinating but the critical voices are quite confrontational.
I feel horrible and upset, like I’ve tried to connect to a community that has no place for me. I worry I’ve moved to the wrong city and I worry that all my life I will have to deal with these sorts of rejections. Can anyone else relate? Does anyone else know of similar stories? If not, do you have any general advice?
Sorry for how poorly this was written, I’m in tears and I could’ve written this much better! I hope it’s okay