Is there an Orthodox psychologist or psychiatrist in the house? Question about the viability of a shidduch

I am not at all looking for medical advice. But maybe some outside perspective from someone who can understand where I’m coming from religiously, and what I’m dealing with in terms of the man in front of me.

Very specific ask. But you never know.

I am considering marrying an extremely intelligent EM physician (retired) with big time borderline traits. Not a doctor myself, but if you spent 10 minutes davening at my shul you’d know who I’m considering.

Normally I would run for the hills. I am 30s, never married no kids. He is 60s and the same. I know I am not without options. Less dramatic ones with more happiness, more time together, more peace and bliss. I have known him 3 or 4 years. Well enough to recognize the patterns. He is in a lot of pain and honest enough with me to acknowledge it. He’s explosive. No filter. Cant see the bigger picture. Text book.

Again. I know, run for the hills. I am not a battered woman or in the throes of a romance with him. This is me making a considered choice having had months of space from him and his crazy. The thing that is compelling me to find a way to make this work is that almost all of his family were murdered in the camps. He is the last of his line, and if he doesn’t have a son, that’s it for his name and the family’s legacy.

Of course I love him and want him to find a way out of the pain he lives. But it’s more that I feel a duty to the dead to try.

Advice? Am I also crazy? I know Hitler can’t be our standard in terms of driving our decisions. But I see “Sarah + 9 children”. They don’t even list the names on the stone. And my stomach turns. I want to give him 18, or 1800. I will settle for 1, G-d willing.

I can’t figure out if I am making the biggest mistake of my life or if hashem is giving me an opportunity beyond my wildest dreams to make something good.

We are having a talk in a week about if this will actually be a wise thing and likely come to a decision.

Help me tribe

Can I save this line without drowning? Is there a way this thing can be done and we – doc, me, baby – all come out intact psychologically?

Odds?